Today I was looking back at my photos and other people’s and I got this feeling somehow after leaving London that I was seriously missing out. I love the way you can be who you want to be there. You’re anonymous all the time. Even though it’s such a minefield filled with people, it’s also so quiet too. I like the way at anytime you will be able to find a club open or a form of transportation. Every day you are spoilt for choice of where to go. I didn’t really make that many friends whilst there. Even though I had plenty of opportunities, I never really found people that I really clicked with. It sounds really strange but I treated London as my friend and I do really miss it now, even to this day. In the future I will make it my plans to return, to carry on exploring the hidden city. I want to find the Peter Pan statue in St James’s Park, go to the Notting Hill Carnival. Visit Ealing again and go to the Soup Kitchen which was a wise experience, one I will not forget.
When I was there I saw things and experienced what I never had done before. I had to grow up and learn to cook and clean. Due to me been quite reliant on my parents before this, I actually surprised myself and fit quite well into the single life. It was just me and I got this feeling of freedom and also loneliness. It wasn’t the right time for me then, but I wouldn’t take my time back with London ever.
As I said previously I lived in Holloway, North London. This place was my home for the next year or so. My room was tiny, it resembled somewhat of a prison cell. The walls were grey with the paint cracking off. I remember my first day when we were all queuing up to get our room keys, there was bossy parents, Fussy parents and my parents who were the scared one’s. My dad was talking to some locals as we were waiting for a car park space, warning him to not let me go to Finsbury Park, which apparently was a terrible place for danger. I beg to differ. After I settled my belongings into my new room, it was that awkward time when you have to knock on doors and find out who your new housemates are going to be for the rest of the year. There was only two of them in at that point. They seemed friendly enough, I left them alone so they could sort their own stuff out, promising we would speak later on.
Not impressed by the layout of the flat seen as it was already dirty from the previous students, I only wanted my own room back even more. As I ushered my parents to leave, they looked very upset, as I was too but not showing this of course. I just kept repeating that I was tired and needed to sleep. The door closed and then silence. I realized I was free to do whatever, whenever I wanted. I felt suddenly agitated; stuck what to do I did what anyone else would do, go make an effort with the housemates, so I did, playing along with all that charades. We walked to Highbury Islington, which was about a mile away from us. Entering Upper Street, the streets were packed of young students, considering it is a trendy suburb of Angel. It was becoming so late now so we looked for the nearest pub. We saw some lights on the corner, a gang of smokers were blocking the entrance. So we fought our way through to a pub called “The Library”. I don’t know why we chose this one but in the end we did, I was wishing at this point that we carried on going. I remember running into the toilets talking to my friend on the phone who was asking what I thought already to the new change, leaving them behind in the bar waiting with my double Gin and Orange for quite some time. The three of us seemed to get on quite well; I thought maybe this could be a good year after all.
We got back to the flat; I lived on the second floor with a total including myself of five people. I was still waiting for the other two to arrive. I sat down on the bed and looked around, contemplating how I could revitalize this room, the walls were actually Grey, I didn’t think Dulux produced such an awful colour. I unpacked my belongings, made a ham sandwich and put on a film, trying to ease myself into the new messy surroundings. Turning off the TV, I just laid in bed waiting for the silence, but low and behold I was in London, what the hell was I expecting! Feeling lost I sat on the perfectly sized window that fit me sitting on it horizontal with my feet touching the other side. At this point I felt relaxed. It was the only thing that calmed me. I liked to hear the cars rushing pass, the passing conversations. The noises in the end become my lullaby. I knew at this point I was in a new frame of mind and a new place.